|Autumn ~ Acrylic Painting ~ Available for sale in my etsy shop|
Somebody once said to me that the different periods of our lives are like the changing seasons. The first twenty or so years of our youth the spring. Our twenties and thirties the summer, and so on.
At forty-two years I have entered now into the Autumn of my life. Some say Autumn is the most beautiful season, when the leaves turn such vibrant shades of burnt orange, gold, umber and pale curled green, and the hedgerows are heavy with berries and fruit. Certainly over the past few years I have come to pay more attention to such things.
What I have also discovered, which has been a surprise to me, is that there is no perfect plan for life that I can ever know in advance. There is no pre-written path to follow. Years did I spend in search of this. Consequently, I was often lost and confused – nothing ever felt exactly ‘right’. I was trying to forge a path to a certain exact destination and then stick to it – this never worked. Obstacles appeared in my way or I would deviate from the the path if something new caught my eye. Even now I still struggle to create order where there is none.
I have found that you make the path as you travel. This has been difficult for me to accept. The uncertainty. The not knowing just what I might encounter with my next step and yet continuing to walk on in spite of the fear.
Leaves fall. Possibilities fall away. Memories too, and belongings, old habits, unhealthy relationships, old grudges, resentments. Like leaves these fall away more easily these days. I let them go and feel lighter as a result. Lighter and calmer.
And then I can take another step.